Looking for Mr. Right ?
If we were to believe movies and TV shows, dating would be like Sex and the City where there’s a new romance every other week that’s adventurous, hot and exciting. You know the story: woman goes on several dates with the wrong men, shares stories with her friends and then eventually meets the one.
Easier seen than done. Where it used to be hard finding “Mr. Right”, it’s now becoming also difficult to find “Mr. Right Now”, someone to get to know slowly who maybe has relationship potential.
But Before we get there, here is one big question:
How do men feel about women pursuing them?
Well, the most straightforward answer I can give is to say, “we love it”. I mean sure, the traditional role may be that of the man as the “hunter” or aggressor. However, I believe that even the most alpha of males would still feel a boost to their ego, upon receiving the knowledge that they were the object of someone’s affections. Even if it happened to be someone who the men may not be particularly interested in, it would likely still put a little spring in the step. It is safe to say that both men & women like to feel desirable. You can make a guy feel good about the fact that you made a play for his affections. It is one of those things, Men like it. So go for it!
Here are some are the top reasons women today have trouble finding Mr Right:
The Chase: The old phenomena of being wined, dined, and later denied. It will seem like a man is interested in getting to know a woman and maybe it leading to more, but once her feelings have sunk in he disappears or claims “things are moving too fast”, or “he’s not ready”. Once the chase is gone, so is he.
Internet Casanovas: Though we know that one in six couples met online and Internet dating has increased, the Internet has created an outlet for “Internet Casanovas” who try to arrange easy and quick hookups. Unfortunately, many men view the Internet as less personal or a breeding ground to message as many women as possible to solicit hookups.
Instant dating: Back in the day, women were courted. A man would show interest and there may be a build up to going on a date, and of course depending on what era you’re discussing, sex would be out of the question until the couple was committed/married. That’s not to say that today’s more liberal forms of dating are totally wrong, but with entertainment bombarding us with sexual images or storylines about sex, some men think that every woman should immediately become sexual with them.
Other Women: Our own worst enemy? We all know the phrase, “there’s too many options”s (for men, that is). With women being more sexual than previous decades and owning their sexuality, there comes a price. There are so many women willing to “hookup”, that some guys are forgoing a relationship to “sow their oats”. Let’s also note that even when some men are taken, some misguided women make it their task to try and take him away or get him to cheat.
Relationship Phobia: Females are more likely to want relationships sooner than men, but many men falsely assume that if a woman shows interest or that she likes him, she will automatically want a relationship. Many end up pushing women away because they think every single woman wants a relationship with them where she could actually be on the same page as him about taking things slow.
All of these reasons are enough for some women to throw up their hands up in defeat. However, for every horror story there are some positive ones. Dating in 2011 is different than it used to be. Though with technology there is much more accessibility and even safety guards (Google him) to dating, today’s women face different issues with finding a partner.
Ladies, do keep an open mind and realize Mr. Right may not look or act exactly as you pictured him, and if he has good standards and other qualities he may be a keeper. In the same breath don’t lower standards too much – you know what happens when you lower a limbo bar too low (you’re stuck and can’t go any lower).
- Looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now? (mybeautymedia.com)
- Why is sex such a big deal? I can wait for my Mr Right (thesun.co.uk)
- Queer Girls’ Guide To Meeting Ms. Right (Now) (clutchmagonline.com)